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"Story of my Life"
Seemed so picture perfect,
I can't believe it all went wrong.
I used to be listening to happy music,
Now I'm addicted to a miserable song.
It seemed to be the same old same,
And I cannot stand the same old shit.
My skin gets itchy, my mind races,
I start to pitch a fit.
I always thought I'd be the one
To tell you when it was through.
But I guess you got the best of me,
But I -always- gave my best to you.
Too bad things can't go back to what it used to be,
But all good things must come to an end.
Even though we had so much,
I think it will be hard to be your friend.
^^This one kinda sucked in my opinion, but oh well, fuck it.
"You've Changed Me"
No matter what you say, no matter what I do,
There's no getting around the fact that I'm so in love with you.
You're on my mind at night, the first thing when I wake.
Ever since I've found you, there has been no heartache.
I didn't think this would happen, I never thought it could be,
But now I see that I'm made for you, and you are made for me.
Talking for hours, staying up til dawn,
Listening to the "X" and knowing every song.
We have so many memories already, we're gonna make many more,
Cuz this thing is gonna last awhile, I couldn't show you the door.
"no title"
This confusion is something new,
I never really expected it from you.
I don't know what I have done wrong,
I thought that maybe we'd last long.
I'm usually not one to get upset and sad,
But oddly enough, you've got me feeling bad.
Maybe I cared more for you than I knew,
Maybe I wasn't anything but a piece to you.
I don't know if you thought I was immature and gay,
Maybe you'll realize I'm not, come another day.
^This is simple but I like it.
"Here To Me"
I never got to say goodbye,
You don't even know how much I cry
When I'm alone.
The tears are running down my face,
It seems that I am losing the race
Against time.
Can we go back to how it was,
You don't know how much hurt this does
Being alone.
Sometimes I sit up in my room,
Wishing it was me instead
of you
That had to go.
I never told you how I feel,
This much pain, it feels so unreal,
Now that you're gone.
If I could have just two more things,
I wish that I would grow some wings
And fly to you now.
Oh please come
back,
Oh please come back,
Oh please come back here to me.
I love you now, I'll tell you this,
It's only you
that I seem to miss
Every day.
Oh God, please help me to heal,
I know that you can feel the pain I feel
In my
heart.
Oh please come back,
Oh please come back,
Oh please come back here to me.
"My Mistake"
You teased me with a kiss,
Long enough to entice, longer than it should.
Looking back on it,
The teasing kiss wasn't all that good.
Still, my heart feels very let down,
More so when I see you with her.
It's very sad that you won't be happy,
Believe me, of that I am sure.
It's not that I want to date you,
Please, don't get me wrong.
It's just that this girl isn't right for you,
She never dwells for much too long.
I guess this situation was my mistake,
It's hard to talk about.
I really wish it never would have happened,
Then we'd have been on a different route.
I want to be happy for you and she,
But unfortunately, I don't tolerate lies.
Something actually does come out of lies,
Sorry to say, those things are usually goodbyes.
"Betrayal"
One thing in life that everyone knows
Is betrayal.
One thing that everyone has experienced
Is betrayal.
From friends, from relatives, from God, from love
Comes betrayal.
Friends know your secrets, friends know what's in your hearts
Somehow, they betray you.
Be it a slip of the tongue, or a slip of the heart
You're bound to be betrayed.
Trust flies out the window, as does mutual respect
When betrayal comes knocking at the door.
You think you know it all?
You don't know anything
...until you've been betrayed.
That's when you see what people are.
Liars.
"You Don't Know"
I'm sitting down to write these words, but the words, they just won't come. Obviously
I waiting too long to tell you, my waiting was so dumb. I thought you didn't feel the same, now I'm not too sure. I guess
you're happy now, now that you're with her. But all the reassuring you do to her and yourself, sometimes it makes me wonder.
You always feel the need to bring her up, me, I know what I am. Knowing what I am, I also know what I'm not, therefore I don't
give a damn/
---> I had a really good train of thought, then I lost it. I'm just depressed
that some people get the good guys that ~constantly~ have to reassure them about themselves, while people such as me who like
that specific guy don't get the chance. Dammit.
"Rumors"
I can't take the drama, the pain is too much for my
heart. It's hard to realize that a single rumor could really tear me apart. It's had to get through this alone, that's when
I need my friends. But they're preoccupied with their own lives, and so this never ends. I wish I could be strong, I wish
I could go on. But this vicious cycle just keeps going, repeating like a song. I want to be the better person, I want to just
step down. But it's really hard to get off my throne, and remove my gold "Bitch" crown. Rumors are stupid, they ruin people
for life. Rumors are worth exactly nothing, they don't amount to all this strife. Lies are all some people can say, the truth
can never be told. All this pain, all this hurt, it's starting to get old. So let me jump off this chair, let me have my knife.
Because one day you'll hear the story, of how rumors ended my life.
"?"
Your mouth forms the words I want to hear, but your eyes hold exactly everything
that I fear. You follow her to wherever she'll lead. Go ahead and trail along, you're soon to be decieved. She'll end up lying,
you'll end up crying, but eventually everyone ends up dying.
^Well.. no I can't finish this.
"It's All Up To You"
I sat down, and have been thinking all this while about the best way to describe
your smile. And despite my nine zillion tries, I can't come up with the words for your eyes. There's really nothing that compares
to one of your deepest, longest stares. Your smile, you frown, you're up, you're down. Yeah, I know this all seems sappy,
but I would scream this outloud just to make ya happy. All those times I said good-bye, I was fighting back my urge to cry.
It breaks my heart to see ya sad, but you know me - I'd do anything to make you glad. So maybe I'm a bit deranged, and by
now you probably think I'm kinda strange. But I really don't care, because what I said, it's all very true. And
now this is in your hands... sorry to say, but it's all up to you.
"This All Sucks"
What can I do? Guess who gets to play the part of the fool. That's right, it's
me again. Life's a game I just can't win. My friends have left me, I'm all alone. Sometimes I get so down that I just gotta
stop and moan. This all sucks, life's not worth the wait, the love, the pain and the hate. This all sucks, I'm worn out and
tired and ready to get erased. They say don't play with fire, unless you can stand the burn. Well, that's a rule I have yet
to learn. I'm sick of waiting around, I'm sick of all the pretty words you try to say. Dude.... you just sound gay.
"Second Place Blows"
Wow, look at that, I didn't win again. Big old shocker, it's the same old sin.
Sitting on the curb, watching the world pass me by. It's a shame that every day I'm forced to cry. It's a contest with she
and I, and I cannever win, no matter how hard I try. God.. she's gorgeous, no wonder she comes out ahead. But now I think
that when I lose this time, I'll come out of it dead. I'll try my hardest to put on a smile, but with the thought of her,
it'll only last awhile. I wish I could look, talk, and act like her. But if I wasn't myself? Well, it would probably be her
you'd prefer. But I'm fun, I can sit and play games. But I've been burned so much now, I've got scars from the flames.
"Screw Armani"
Come on, let's go sit on my front porch swing. We'll sit and talk about the stars,
and we'll watch the stupid foreign cars. We'll cuddle up in some old flannel shirts. Then we'll go in side and we'll sit by
the fire, we'll sit and wait for time to expire. Then I'll look up into your eyes, you'll see I'm completely in love with
you. And when I say these words, I think you'll know it's true. Hey, let's go make some spaghettios, and then we can go drive
around the parking lot of Lowe's. I don't care if you're trashy, if you're dirty, if you color inside the lines. All I really
care about is that you love me, and if you're mine. Those expensive girls just care about money. I couldn't care less, because
you're you are you're funny. We're some dirtballs and we couldn't care less, cuz when we're together, there is no stress.
"F*** You, BCG"
I want to be more than a friend to you now, and I think you're
quite aware. But the thought of telling you how I feel, well, it gives me quite a scare. You liking her and me liking you,
it's getting kind of old. You want to even talk to her, but I'm right here for you to hold. I spend all day, and most every
night. Thinking of how you're out of reach, but still in sight. My friends say go for it, my heart says that too. But I'm
so scared of what telling you would do. Seeing you gets me happy, thinking it through makes me want to cry. When I think of
we could never have, it makes me want to die. She's prettier than I am, and better, it's easy to see. That there will always
a me and a you, there'll never be a we.
~Invisible Girl~
Another day went by, another day I sit and stare. Can't believe how you can make
me feel, just like I'm not even here. I can speak up in my mind, but my lips don't process the sound. I'm so weak and you're
so stubborn. Can't you get your head out of the clouds and realize I'm the one? I really am. I could change your world, and
you could make mine better. But you don't see me, you don't notice me in the crowd. Just another face to you, nothing important.
I'm doomed to forever be the invisible girl to you.
"Crazy Hate"
Mad, crazy hate. Why do you have to be such a jackass? You're so old, but you're so naive.
You never realize how much pain you put me through. You don't even care. I hate you so much! But at the same time, I wanna
love you. You're my friend, you have been since the beginning. Are we reaching the end of our time? I don't wanna ask you
to change, but it's hard not to want something better out of this. I can't believe what I'm about to do, but I can't deal
with your lies and manipulation anymore. I hate you, but I think I hate myself more right now.
-I'm The Girl-
I'm the girl your parents warned you about. The one with the weird clothes and the dyed black hair.
Piercings everywhere, tattoos garnish my skin. My skin is my shell, simple another article of clothing. It's got tears and
scars and patches. My depressed brown eyes have no feeling. They can express no anger, nor love. The hands are the wrost.
Scars, scrapes, cuts, nicks. Some accidental, some on purpose, some in memorium. Chipped nail polish accentuates the bitten
nails. I can't wait to take my fragile life into my calloused hands. Then I'll break it. Rip it apart my the seams.
After the blood stops bursting from my cuts, I'm thankful when the pain stops. I'm scared that one day I won't be able to
see the sun shining again. Blackness would cloud my vision, the dirt would sheild the sun from my wooden box. Can't anyone
see that I'm dying inside? Being eaten from within by an unforgiving force? I haven't affected you in life. Will I affect
you in death?
I don't think I can stay, but I'd be more frightened to
go. I can't believe it's going by so fast, but I wish it was going by slow. I'm so scared to tell you, I'm more scared of
what you'll say. I don't think I wanna live without you, even for a single day. I don't wanna sit here with my head in my
hands. Crying on the floor, trying to get out of this world. My life is going crazy, I don't know who to blame. Damn, I wish
your heart was something I could tame. Too nervous to try, to scared to fail. I wish I could see you clearly, but my eyes
are shrouded in a veil.
THAT'S NOT DONE, NO TITLE, BUT I LIKE IT SO FAR!
~Somewhere Something~
Somewhere, something waits to be,
Held and loved, and found by me.
Wanting to be be loved and free,
And with that something I shall win.
That something, somewhere is not a thing,
It's not a bell that you can ring.
It's a person, and ya'll know who.
And there's a question I have for you.
*Don't*
You think you want me, but you won't.
You think you know me, but you don't.
I am a simple toy that has been used.
A wind-up doll that's been abused.
But now I'm speaking out.
Using my kind voice to scream and shout.
Wanted to be released.
And not to be owned, and not to be leased.
I want to see,
I want to be,
Precious, awesome,
And just plain old me.
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