Raganland
Me and my Friend's Inside Jokes
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South Park and George Carlin

"Way to go, a-hole."
"Whateva, whateva, I'll do what I want!"
"Man, that kicks your mom's ass!"
"F*ck you Kyle, you Jewish motherf*cker!"
"Your dad is Willie Nelson!"
"F*ck-You-Ashley-Blonde!"
"There's a black guy on my porch! What's he doing?''
"I'm sorry, but if they came to my door I'd be like 'you stupid JW's, get the f*ck outta here!''
"I'm outta this bitch!"
"Shinobizzin reggin poo happens."
"Um, I think you might be black."
"Man, that alcohol sure is cute!"
"Die.....please?"
"Hi, my name's Sarah... I mean... Patty!"
"MOM! WHAT are you doing?" "I thought I saw a coon!" "AHHHHH!!!! COON!!!!!!!!"
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to... you would cry too, if it happened to you!"
"He wishes he was a woman so he could sleep with Hitler."
"You sick f*ck..."
"If you don't plan on f*cking off, I'll kill you!"
"Hit me, Mr. Shaffer, just hit me!"
"C-Toe, C-Unit, pierogi doucher."
"D-d-d-d-d-d-unit in the house, what what what what what.."
"Get CrUnKeD!"
"Well, ya know, sometimes you just gotta talk like an asshole."
"Whata champ!"
"Damn, she drives like a slut."
"Shytown, son!"
 
 
HERE IS MY CLASS POEM THAT I WROTE FOR OUR JUNIOR YEAR, CLASS OF 2005!!!!!!!!!
Here it is, our junior year. The best memories always involved some beer. Maybe some Captain, sometimes there was Bacardi. Looking back on all, man, we know how to party. Don't be afraid of what's up ahead, cuz with all the weed we smoke, soon we'll be dead. We've had some good times, most of them we've been high and alive. But oh well, fuck it, we're the class of 2005!
 
Is it just me... or is everyone else ready for SUMMER VACATION ALREADY?

Karey's Party - November, 2002!
6:00 P.M. Everyone arrived at the party. No alcohol was consumed.
7:00 P.M. Pizza arrived. Sarah washed it down with some 2 year old Coors Light, while the rest of us looked on.
7:15 P.M. The Raspberry Pucker was opened. Jenna showed everyone her Presidential shot glass, while the rest of us were eager to begin the excitement.
7:30 P.M. Three quarters of the pucker is gone. We are excited, and move toward the bottle of Castillo Puertorican Rum.
8:00 P.M. One quarter of the rum is gone, as are the Mike's Hard Lemonades. The girls are getting giggly.
8:10 P.M. We turn on Bring It On, and proceed to do the cheers and songs in a drunken frenzy.
8:30 P.M. The girls exit the room for their first smoke break.
9:30 P.M. Beth falls into a drunken state of unconsciousness, and is completely unwakeable.
10:00 P.M. Ashley proceeds to pour rum and cranberry shots for the girls. Beth is excluded, due to the fact that we all think she is dead.
10:10 P.M. The girls check on Beth. If she is dead, her Mike's will be split up among the girls. Unfortunetly, she breathes.
12:00 A.M. Ashley falls asleep, and is asleep til 2:00 A.M.
2:00 A.M. The girls make a pyramid of glasses, a humungous feat for 4 wasted girls.
2:00 A.M. - 3:00 A.M. Phone Conversation with Drew.
3:00 A.M. Drunken toast to Beth.
3:15 A. M. - 7:00 A.M. Nothing exciting.
7:00 A.M. The girls start to filter out, one by one.
NOTE: The party actually didn't happen like this... we wanted to make the uninvited girls jealous, so we sat for an hour and a half while eating pizza, and made up an elaborate story to tell everyone. While some parts of this convo, like the phone conversation, the toast, and the departure are true, the others are not.
 
IF YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE, TELL ME AND I'LL ADD IT!

KAREY'S PARTY     MARCH 7TH, 2003
 
7:00 P.M. Everyone has arrived. Ashley got there a little bit late, and by this time, everyone has drank a Smirnoff, so she grabs one.
7:15 P.M. Karey opens the bottle of Green Apple Pucker and everyone takes a shot, toasting Allison's 16th birthday.
7:30 P.M. Carl begins to open the cigerette factory in the bathroom. He is an excellent roller, much better than Alli and Sarah.
8:00 P.M. Beth burns herself with a cigerette and then burns a hole in the couch.
8:30 P.M. Rich and a carful of people show up. They mill around in awe at the drunken girls, grab some beer and Captain Morgan, then leave.
10:00 P.M. Now by ten o'clock, everyone is drunk. Jenna is passed out, and Beth is too. Karey's mom comes downstairs with Lisa, Karey's sister, and confiscates the alcohol. Karey is thrown into a hysterical rage, and proceeds to cry on the floor. Ashley and Allison sit in shock on the floor, and Sarah (we think) was trying to find Carl, even though he had left about 2 hours ago.
11:00 P.M. Karey calms down, and the girls lay down to watch a movie.
11:15 P.M. The girls hear someone waking from the couch. Jenna sits up and says "It's alright everyone, I'm fine." 3 seconds later, she throws up all over the floor. "Alright guys, I'm done. No more puke or alchol," she says. 2 seconds later, she pukes again. She goes back to sleep. Alli, Karey, Ashley, and Sarah are disgusted and must leave the room. The stench is overpowering the room.
2:00 A.M. Jenna wakes up for good and is cleaning everything up. Bob and Scott decide to sneak down to Karey's house, and they stay for about an hour. After that, everyone goes to sleep.
7:00 A.M. The girls wake up to talk about the previous nights escapades. Sarah can't believe she's dating Carl, Jenna smells like hot, sick ass, and Ashley can't really remember much. Beth was passed out 90% of the time, so she just giggles. Karey and Alli are still asleep. Jenna cleans up the remainder of her puke and then takes a shower. The girls watch a video of Karey's 8th birthday party, and crack up watching Rich skate around like a buffoon. The party is over at this point, and moms start coming to pick up their poor, stinky, hung-over offspring.